I guess it is the same with white people and African American people. I wasn’t aware that certain Deaf African Americans were treated differently until they started telling me stories. At first I was startled, then later when I started paying close attention, I began to notice things that I was oblivious in the past. It was the same thing with the treatment of Deaf and Hearing parents. I didn’t notice until Deaf parents started sharing stories with me, then once I became fully aware, I could see the differences myself.

Sometimes we don’t notice things until they are pointed out to us first. It makes sense. We tend not to notice things if they don’t affect us personally.

It is the parents who choose. Now the methodologies debate is up for grabs as to who knows best. My take is that it’s a personal family decision, but we already know that.

Li-Li’s mom…you wrote a beautiful comment- as always- and I greatly appreciated it.

Interesting post, Mishka- I’m sorry I arrived late..
Hugs,
Jodi

I don’t quite understand how you think by speaking out on blogs like MZ’s undermines the blogger’s position.

I think by having parents like you come on here and sharing your views, it actually helps. It shows that you guys ARE listening to the Deaf community, and we can engage in dialogue. We all have experiences, ideas, viewpoints to bring to the table. And ultimately, what we talk about here on the blogs, affect *your* children.

These children are part of the Deaf Community, but they are not our children. They are yours. I feel safe in saying that for many of us in the Deaf Community, we would like to continue this kind of dialogue, so we can learn from each other, so your children can benefit from this. That way, when they become old enough and comfortable enough, they can then participate more fully with the Deaf Community, and make positive contributions, just like they will with society at large.

And yes, there are many topics that are sensitive, but I think it’s worth addressing. I don’t think it’s possible for just us Deaf to address these issues alone, and nor should we.

So in that vein, I think the issue MZ raises here in her blog is a very valid concern. Deaf parents do get bashed for their decisions. Heck, when I was a child, my own mother who is hearing, got bashed for her decisions on how to educate me. It’s very real thing, but it’s certainly a sensitive topic, and not very many want to address sensitive/uncomfortable topics except for hardliners and a lone few moderates like me and MZ, it seems.

I have a Deaf acquaintance who is the mother of a Deaf child. A few years ago, when this child was an infant, she had professionals who work in an agency responsible for infant screening and referrals to audiologists, therapists, etc come to her house several times touting the virtues of cochlear implants and the importance of AVT for “language development.” Each time, the mother turned them away. I must tell you the pressure was intense for this mother. This mother comes of a family of mostly Deaf people.

To these hearing professionals, this mother was dooming her to a lifetime of disability. Yet, when a Hearing mother chooses to
not implant her child, that is called choice. She would be supported with whatever decisions she makes.
However, the Deaf mother is condemned if she doesn’t conform with the Hearing expectation that she do everything to help her child fit into the Hearing world.

Not many outside the Deaf community would have defended this
Deaf woman’s choice.

Well-written comment.

Highly intelligent children with no other problems tend to do well no matter what methods were used. (And end up as poster children for that method!)

Children with additional challenges, such as dyslexia or uninvolved parents or acoustic complications, tend to do better with specific methods addressed to these needs and employing their strengths more than usual.

Also, childrens’ needs change with growth, so an approach that was great at age 3 may no longer be right at age 7. Ongoing attention to their immediate needs and constant evaluation of their benefits need to be done.

An example: when children reach their teens, the sophistication and complexity of their intellectual skills explodes. Suddenly the language of the home, if it was a restricted mode, becomes no longer adequate for their needs.

Re-evaluation might result in introducing sign in preparation for college studies at a Deaf university. Or it might consider transferring to a private school in order to have smaller classes in a pure oral/aural environment. Or it might include extracurricular groups with area Deaf students.

Keeping open all possibilities at every stage of the child’s growth is essential. Support of both parents and children in finding these change points is also essential; something we all need to work on.

Deaf people are the most misunderstood group!

I think what triggers a lot of deaf people is that back in the oralism days, we were literally forced to wear these bulky hearing aids and endure those FM with heavy earphones, thus making our ears burn when they overheated. So when they see a deaf baby or child implanted with CI, the feelings come back and it is as if people are constantly trying to mold deaf people into normal hearing beings with all kinds of uncomfortable devices.

To be honest with you, the cochlear implant devices are the most ugliest thing I ever seen, it is unfortunate that they have to be so ugly. Yikes! But I do know that they work very well for some deaf people.

ALso deaf and hearing parents feel the peer pressure to have their baby implanted by the medical society. The doctors have a way of convincing parents to implant their deaf babies, the smooth talking language and the gentle way of persuading parents into it. If they don’t do it, they are considered as “odd” or whatever. SO I think it is a parent peer thing.

Miss Kat’s parents are making difficult choices but Miss Kat will let them know when she gets older if the choices were the right ones or not.