The Best Gift A CODA Made For Her Parents

Many years ago while I was still a novice ASL signer, I became good friends with two ASL interpreters, both hearing. They taught me a lot about ASL. These two friends also took me to several ASL Interpreter workshops in the Deep South where I learned more about ASL and Deaf Culture.

One of the interpreters, I’ll call her Gina, grew up with Deaf Parents in the Deep South. Back then in 1950’s, ASL was considered unacceptable and hearing children were not encouraged to learn ASL. Out of love and concern for their hearing children, her Deaf parents talked orally to the kids. At the beginning when the children were small, the oral communication went smoothly. But as the they grew older and their language usage became more complex, strains in the communication occurred more often.  Many times Gina, in frustration, watched her parents signing to their Deaf friends, wishing she knows ASL so she can communicate freely with them, too.  However, she dutifully respected her parents’ strong desire to keep their communication oral only.

As the years progressed, Gina moved away, got married and had children. There was a deaf program in her church. Fascinated, she watched the interpreter doing her job at the front of the audience. Motivated, she took ASL classes. Much to her surprise, she learned very easily, having concluded that she must have already learned the signs subconsciously while watching the Deaf people converse around her during her growing up years. While she practiced sign language with the local Deaf folks, she never spilled the words to her parents whenever she saw them…. She practiced in private and became very fluent, signing almost like a native ASL user

Then one day, Gina went to visit her parents. There were other Deaf friends visiting and she watched them chat in ASL, as usual, not saying anything. A deaf person mentioned something to Gina in ASL and she responded in ASL. They struck a conversation in ASL

Across the room, her dad suddenly stopped signing,  staring at her in shock. Slowly he arose from his chair and walked across the room to where she was sitting. “you can sign?” he asked.  She nodded, smiling broadly. With a look of amazement and pure joy, he hugged her.

It was the best gift she could give to her Deaf Parents: ASL, their language.

Commentary: As a result of her learning ASL, she and her parents became even closer.  She became one of the best ASL interpreters I’ve worked with, signing with the proficiency of a native ASL person.

I wiped tears when she told me this story. I’m a sucker for stories with happy endings :)   MZ

14 Responses to “The Best Gift A CODA Made For Her Parents”

  1. KG Says:

    Beautiful!

  2. FairLady Says:

    Aww, That brought tears to my eyes. So lovely!!

  3. cuong aka buzz Says:

    wow, sucker? me too for happy ending. gladly it is never too late for non-signed coda.

    buzz

  4. Diane Says:

    Aww I am touched.

  5. Li-Li's Mom Says:

    MZ, I love this story, thank you! Gives me more inspiration to try to keep one step ahead of my toddler as we both learn!

  6. codadiva Says:

    MZ,
    What a powerful story. It did bring tears to my eyes, I could see with full imagery the father stopping dead in his “sign”. I’m thrilled that you were inspired to share this story.

    I hope you don’t mind, I linked my story below! Thank You!

    http://codadiva.wordpress.com/2008/02/01/do-all-codas-want-to-identify-with-the-group/

  7. Louise Says:

    awesome..

  8. PANY Lighthouse Says:

    Oh……a beautiful and moving ending to the beginning! Thank you so much!

  9. Deaf dating Says:

    Asesome story!

  10. JohnABC Says:

    Very inspired story and it makes me cry even I am man, ha!

  11. Rini Says:

    Awwww X one-hundred and more aw’s. That is a really touching story and you wrote it quite vividly, even if it was second hand report.

    Thank you for sharing this wonderful story with us.

  12. Barb DiGi Says:

    What an excellent touching story to read this before I hit the hay! I may now go to sleep with ease knowing that there are people out there who are motivated to learn ASL in order to communicate with their loved ones.

  13. IamMine Says:

    Oh!

    It made me cry!

    I’m sucker for those type of stories myself, too… ;)

    Inspiring, indeed!!

    Gina, YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  14. Jean Boutcher Says:

    Elizabeth,

    Never in my whole life have I ever read a story like that of Gina. Very sad. I can feel her silent pain and suffering for years. I am happy that the notes has ended with happiness. The deprivation of a parental communication with a child is like the deprivation of a parentally love relationship with a daughter. Gina must have been painful with dignity and grace.

    Can you ask Gina to submit her story to the NAD’s magazine, NADmag to which over 20 thousand people subscribe.

    Merci beaucoup for sharing the story with us. We need to hear more stories about parents and children.

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