I feel many people do not understand what DeafHood is about. People have wide range of meaning of what the face expression can be about. I face this issue all the time. It gets tiring… many people are missing the point… the main point here is Crab Theory.

History has pointed out to deaf and hearing people have pulled deaf people into so many directions over a personal opinion. CI is not the problem; the market approach is the problem. The audism, not autism, is the problem but only for those who are happy with sign language in their life.

It becomes a misunderstanding in all parts of the aspects of deaf community. Here is the real problem; people identify themselves as hearing-impaired, hard of hearing, deaf, CI, Cued Speech, Oral, ASL user, sign language user, Total Communication user and whatever…

Those things are stereotype. That’s the problem. We all need to sit together and think, what we all want to be called. If someone says a person with hearing loss, someone born deaf will argue I was born with no hearing and I did not lose it. Others will say, I refuse to put a hearing person above or better than me. I am an individual and others are like me. This gets everyone no where. I could go on and on and on with different issues.

The main point here is all of us are patronized and used because of our main form of communication. We all have became crabs and trapped our own friends with us even though they really are happy for others who live their lives differently.

I know it’s a FACT, not all CI children are succeeding with that device. Not ALL Oral children are succeeding with this method. Not all children are succeeding with ASL. But there are success in each category for different reason and no one focus on that honestly.

If you go to educational programs and everywhere else… almost everyone is AGAINST ASL. The people who grow up with these education programs are now using ASL are now people who have CI, Oral, Mainstream or whatever background. If your read the news, Alexander Bell went against the Commercial with two deaf signers. And one of the two deaf signers is a person who grew up Oral and now uses sign language. i am not saying he choice it or preferred it but the point is he is using it. He grew up in environment where his parent and school forbid him from using it. It’s a shame, many of us KNOW this is so true for ourselves.

There are children who had CI are not not using their CI when they went to college or to real world. Now, their parents are saying why did you make me go through this all my life and now you are not using it. It takes away good self esteem to these adults that decided to change their future for a better life that they felt now suits them. This applies to Oral children, Mainstream children and other categories soon as they enter the world that is called “Independent from their parent”. Parent say they rebell… but that’s not the point… they finally are happy why can’t their folks accept that they grew up and that is the directions they want to go. These parent continue to fight till they die… and child continues to grow apart as they become adults. THIS IS SAD.

And if this does not happen the child as they become an adult, they still will not admit that they use sign language or do not agree with their folks.

The issue here is not about ASL or Deaf Culture, rumors, face expressions, patronization or whatever…

I can argue with you here… it’s about your parent, your school, your hometown, your background. I rarely chat with someone who said my life is this background. Most people as they become adults will say, I know I was raised that way but now this is who I am.

It is the “I” in the individual that DeafHood brings to many people who felt that it is a hearing world who is in charge. For example, it’s always about the hearing people (teacher, schools or whatever) or parents.

DeafHood focus on the things that many people do not think about and see things that they might not have thought of. It shows many people that there is hope out there for people who can not hear or have hearing difficulties.

Deafhood is about a person who can not hear or has hearing difficulties and recognizes that he or she is not a hearing person. DeafHood is a way of helping these people feel positive about themselves.

That is how it should be viewed… we all will have our own preferred method of education and approach. But, it is the individual who knows what is best for them… and everyone in this world is trying to be a peer to make you what is best for them because that is the society we are raised in.

I suggest we all put aside the CI, Oral, ASL and whatever issue and focus on how we all related as a family. That’s DeafHood and that’s how we should look at it.

The only thing people in Rochester get tired of is people who think their way is the one and only way… we KNOW there are may different ways for our members to survive. But, many of us want to focus on a way that will help all of us work together without politic issues that hearing people gave us? I would say that we all learn sign language and work together to make things happen. Why? We need CI, Oral, Deaf, Late Deafened, or other hearing loss titles to work together to make ADA stronger. Without one or another, we are nothing.

Next time you meet someone different think of how you can work with them and if they are worth your time to work with. Thats the same option hearing people get. Why shouldn’t our DeafHood have this option?

In Rochester we are the largest per capita deaf community and we are well pleased with our choices to hang with who we want. Most important is that we can avoid people with bad altitudes, while people from other places are stuck with people they can’t stand and have to deal with them. In other words, if we don’t like someone altitude, we just look for a different crowd or club. That’s the best thing that Rochester provides to the Deaf community…

Sorry for long letter… but I hope this helps people postive up their altitude or thoughts toward deafhood.

Deafhood should have given CI Deaf people welcome a welcoming smiles when and CI will increase accessibility to use ASL.

It sounds to me that Aidan Mack is very upset about you, Mishka, when she encourage us how to learn deficit thinker.

your blog is my favorite.

Peace.

Thanks for your simple and direct comment. I would want and hope your daughter feels comfortable in her world, whether it is in the Deaf or hearing worlds, or both.

The reason a lot of Deaf people do not support or like the CI implantation companies are for several obvious reasons:

1. Parents decide for their children to get CIs instead of waiting until the children are old enough to decide for themselves if they want it, especially due to the fact it is a particularly invasive surgical procedure (major surgery). That supports the system in controlling the fate of Deaf children.

2. If it is true, we feel that insurance covers leans towards paying for CIs rather than digital hearing aids. Moreover, we have little money for medical and other medicare coverages. Is it true that CI implant coverage is causing the additional funds for hearing aids to become non-existent? I worry that soon people can’t qualify for hearing aids because the money can be reserved for CI implantees.

3. Deaf culture, instead of growing and thriving, is merely maintained by folklore passing from Deaf families primarely, because soon all children will be outfitted with CI’s. What will happen to our folklore, our language, our precious Deaf culture? We don’t want to end up like the Indians, who exist in our minds through folklore, through American history books. Will CI implantees be encouraged to immerse themselves into Deaf culture? Or will we be shunned by them, because they think that the hearing skills makes it sufficient for them to have a comfort zone in the hearing world? I have encountered people and have friends who totally shun the Deaf world, because they think they don’t need to, because they can hear and speak well. Which is sufficient enough. No sense of culture. Just the hearing world.

3. CI implantees are usually in oral programs who are totally against the usage of ASL. They are in organizations like AGB which do not foster sign language at all. So the more CI implants are done, the philosophy of whether to use speech solely or to be bilingual and fluent in ASL shifts in supporting the goals of AGB in whole as an organization. Oral programs discourages students from learning ASL. Many things are said about the Deaf community, how we can’t talk or can’t speak on the telephone, how we act in regards to body language when using ASL, and so many other intangibles.

4. Not every Deaf child who has received CI implants were able to claim 100% success. Some died from meningitis. Some experienced partial paralysis on their faces. Some suffered bad headaches with vomiting episodes. There were some other side effects or complications. You had good intentions, KL, you trusted the doctors and the surgeons, and everything worked out. It didn’t for some others. It’s a calculated risk. To those that had the misfortune to have something go wrong, it isn’t fair to the children, especially when it was the parents who decided to have the child undergo implant without true consent from the child who understands the risks associated with it.

5. Some Deaf CI implantees or their parents have the illusion that they won’t be isolated. Some things never change for some Deaf people who had CIs, even after the fact. It’s the illusion we don’t like. BUT, we do recognize the stories of success. Again, but does everyone experience the same success? What are the end results for those who don’t experience the same success, at the expense of untold millions of dollars, their health, having their skulls invaded surgically only to stop using it after 6 mos or an extended period of time?

MELISSA: You are right, CI implants is the last resort for those that have zero residual hearing, for those that hearing aids do not help at all. It is still a calculated risk for anybody who decides to undergo the CI implant surgery, or for the parents who decide for their children to have one.

Back to KL:

I want to quote her on this particular one:

“I simply want to open communication, and try to answer questions, clarify misunderstanding and hopefully build bridges. That is why I am here. I’ll let others speak for themselves.”

I agree with you, KL, that building bridges is what everyone needs to do. I wouldn’t want anybody to burn bridges to the Deaf world, or vice versa, burning bridges into the hearing world. We do live amongst hearing people and work with them. We do buy from them in stores and they serve us at restaurants. The doctors, nurses, and dentists tend to us. We do need hearing people and need to survive in the hearing world and function in the hearing world. That is not to say that Deaf cultural people can’t, they can. We just want our own culture, our own identity, and our own language.

I’m glad you two are talking and I hope that things will go okay. Just remember not to attack those who don’t attack you, okay. Smile. Keep listening to others and keep sharing your experiences. That’s what we are all here for. To learn from each other.

Thank you for your comments. I appreciate it.

As any parent knows, we can take a lot that’s thrown at us, but go after our children, and our mother bear claws come out. I didn’t like reading that someone was crying for my daughter, especially when she wasn’t crying for herself. To Rachel, her hearing has become extremely valuable, and, while no one likes surgery, she was prepared to go through surgery again in order to be able to hear. One thing that we tried to do with both reimplantation surgeries was to give her something positive with them, the first time the newer technology and newer processor that she had been wanting, and the second time her bilateral CI that she had been begging for for two years.

That these kids value their hearing is not a bad thing. And they’re not crying and miserable. When I read posts from the deaf community saying how they are crying for CI kids, it bothers me because things are truly different for our kids today, and they are leading happy lives. So, you can certainly feel sorry for Rachel that she had to endure two CI failures, but it wasn’t the worst thing that could have happened to her by far. To have had 4 weeks total of her entire life interrupted by these failures is not such an awful thing, especially when she willingly went through it in order to maintain the hearing that she values.

I’ve read enough of these blogs recently that I can’t remember on which one I read a comment that I thought was so on target, but the person said that deafness affects the ability to communicate, and if deaf children can achieve ease of communication, then that is what is important. How they get there is not the main issue. It’s that they get there that is.

I’ll be honest here. I felt a lot of love, support, respect, and courteous disagreement in the varied responses to my blog post yesterday. However, I felt attacked by two of the people that I tried to reach out to. Now one of them is here complaining about being attacked.

I’m not here to attack anyone. I come in peace and respect for all viewpoints. Melissa, I feel for you and for your daughters having to endure such vitriol from a few people. None of you deserve that.

Can we agree to continue this dialogue with respect, or at the very least, not to lash out at each other?

With peace and compassion for all,
moi

As I stated before that this will take some time before we have an harmony healthy dialogue. We need this to be educated whether we like CI or not.
At least I’m learning a lot about CI for infants as opposed to CI as adults.
Keep with great work!

Oh I want to comment gallymom’s comment, its not about MZ’s changing views as if she cannot make up her mind. It is about MZ’s desire to show both positives and negatives of CIs. She wants us to come to an understanding of both sides and accept them even if others may not agree but to agree to disagree in other words respect each other.
I’m not exactly all for infants to be implanted but I do see the positive outcomes of children being able to function so well like other hearing kids. Its the surgery itself that is awfully scary as I went through bad experience with my CI surgery.
Please don’t get me wrong … I also strongly believe that ASL is a valuable language for Deaf individuals. ASL is part of our culture and I believe ASL is to stay as well as CIs.

During dinner, Rachel and I were discussing the deaf blogs. I had not brought Jessica into this discussion at all until last night. She knows about ASL but has never asked much about it. She has gone to CI conventions and participated in groups with kids who sign and speak along with those like herself who only speak. The kids couldn’t care less. They communicate and have a good time.

Jessica is very web savvy and a whiz at finding anything online. Last night after we came home, she went to Rachel’s CI website to see what we were talking about. She became very upset at some of the nasty comments directed at her sister and wrote the following:

“I love your website! People, stop saying mean things about my sister’s website. STOP PUTTING MEAN COMMENTS ON THIS WEBSITE NOW! I love cochlear implants! I love hearing! I like to talk on the phone, hear my computer games, music, movies, my cat purr, and I love to see shows. I love to hear my teachers speaking and other people speaking to me.

“Cochlear implants help your life. Cochlear Implants gave me a lot of opportunities. I have friends who have cochlear implants and friends who have normal hearing. Every day in school I am treated the same as everyone else. At my school, we have a pool and I go swimming. That is the only time at school that I can’t hear, and the other kids are really nice and help me. They explain to me what is going on.
Love this website,
Jessica”

Then, because today is a holiday with no school, she got to stay up late last night and must have decided to pursue this further as this morning when I got up and checked my email, there was an email from her with the link to deafread saying, “Check out this stupid website.” Now, before you jump all over her or me, you should know that I have already sat down and spoken to her to explain that it is not stupid, that she unfortunately read what a few hostile people had to say but that they are not representative of most, and I showed her some of the more positive comments on the blogs, including on Rachel’s. I reminded her of her friends she’s met at the conventions who sign and asked her if they were any different than she is, to which she said no. She and I will continue this discussion.

When Mishka decided to start this whole discussion, she contacted me and Rachel and asked Rachel to write something up for her. She also asked Rachel if she had any oral or A-V CI friends her age who would be willing to write something. Rachel contacted her Facebook group. I’m not sure how many young adults are on there, but I know of at least 15 personally. All refused to write something, saying that they’d dealt with the hostility before and didn’t care to get involved.

There is a chance with Jessica’s generation to change this. Up until yesterday, she had no opinions on the subject, but her first introduction was a negative one. Kids aren’t born seeing differences. They are influenced as they grow by the older generations.

Mishka is right that CIs are here to stay. I know that there are those who will still refuse to accept this, but that doesn’t change the fact that CIs are not only not going to go away, but they are going to increase in number as they have been over the past 18 years since receiving FDA approval. So, the question is whether or not this age old debate and conflict can at least mellow in the next generation. Are kids with CI’s Jessica’s age going to encounter hostility from the deaf community, or are they going to be greeted warmly? If you want to make a start, you can reply to her comment at http://cochlearimplantonline.com/blog/?p=18#comments .

I should add that, as Jessica’s reaction and comment showed, welcoming the kids but not their families, including their hearing parents, is not going to work either. Their loyalty is with those whom they love.